Snuff movie

“We are pleased and honoured to welcome such extinguished guests to the screening of our documentary on migration.”

Foaming charges

“The [redacted] has many brave emergency workers who have the most rabid response in the whole country.”

Open doors

“The local authority has charged a geometer to avoid anarchic reconstruction and promiscuity of houses.”

Trust me, I’m a first-aider

“First aid skills gained in [redacted] training included the putting on of bandages. I also learnt to put people in the missionary position and remove their blockages.”

In-kinder

“[Redacted] also contributed to the programme activities through valuable in-kind donations of pre-school children.”

Hair-raising stuff

“Participants should be able to understand how disasters affect pubic health.”

You’re full of it

“The latrines and potable water source provided a major improvement in the lives of the refugees as it reduced defecation.”